Mathematical Surfaces got me motivated working in computer graphics. I don't have an impressive fancy story on how early an age I programmed for computer graphics, as it was not until I entered my mid-twenties.

During early 80's, the concept of Fractals Geometry was introduced and the Pascal source codes to generate fractals were abundant around computer labs and mathematicians' desks. Although I got very much interested in it, I hesitated to spend night after night debugging codes. Being a math student at that time, producing pseudo codes and a simple output of fractals was enough for me.

In my Differential Geometry class, after proving the theorems, I was tempted to put various mathematical surfaces and geometrical shapes into more tangible forms. Building paper models was one option; and the other was to build computer generated models.

Topology class taught me more about space and geometry. What I learned in class was highly abstract concepts on space and geometry, and to help visualize forms I sought out the ways to solidify the abstractions.

Several books such as Topological Picturebook containing mathematical surfaces and forms were in prints, but didn't arouse my interest at all, as I learned in its abstract forms in Differential Geometry and Topology classes, and I collected a quite a bit of similar pictures from those classes.

In the due course, I also encountered Escher's lithographics of endlessly repeating drawings, many of which were inspired and suggested by a mathematician. Combining all those, I thought it would be a good area where I could spend my mathematical career.

That's the period when I was most frustrated and agonized about my schooling. By reading journals and papers, I found out that there were a few mathematicians, physicists and computer scientists who were applying mathematical surfaces and geometries into computer graphics. To develop my interests and ideas in mathematics and geometry further, I wanted to work with and under such researchers. The thing was that there's none around me where I was going school at that time. No one there seemed to have any interests in what's burgeoning in the scientific world at all.

I still regret occasionally being not bold enough to quit right away to move to other school. I tried to be a good student by fulfilling all the requirements and graduating from there as I'd started there already. Time passed and wasted without developing my ideas further into anything at all.

In addition to the schoolworks I had to do, I worked on mathematical geometry in my personal time. Sometimes having no teacher is better than the poor teacher. I searched the subjects at my own time tracing the subjects almost from the scratch. Even so, I couldn't overcome the physical limitation of not being able to talk directly to mathematicians and computer scientists researching the subjects. I should have quit there and moved to other school for the better education.

Although lacking in formal education in computer graphics, I could get along with computer scientists with the works I did in mathematics and physics, working and developing mathematical models and programs. But I couldn't get my mind off from that I wished I could devote myself studying mathematical geometry and computer graphics full time.

Once I go along one direction whether I planned or not, it's really difficult to change the course of where I'm going unless there's big sacrifice. If I was to change the course, how would I support myself until I got back to the right track. If I were in elementary or junior high school, any kind of changes could be made. I was getting into my late 20's and if I could take any sacrifies to move to where I really wanted to, I would have sacrificed it. There's no option to give up and I had to go into the direction I was going.

I went to and studied at the universities so that I didn't want to be labeled as a mediocre, but with regrets that I didn't study the subjects I really wanted. As I didn't study the subjects I really wanted, I couldn't get a good job in a field I really wanted. With lots of my efforts to catch up, I could land jobs which could label me that I held a promising career, and which I had quite an interest in it to get satisfaction. Only reason I changed job a couple times was that I really wanted to study and work in the field I was genuinely interested in. Several tries without any emotional success came and went away.

I've had three things going on at the same time since my mid-twenties; a formal education and the accompanying research experiences to show to others that I'm not mediocre; a job which is quite promising and getting a recognition to make a decent life in the society, and which is not directly related to the formal education; a pursuit of new media of computer graphics and the traditional art in my personal time, which is not directly related to job or formal education.

Several friends of mine pointed me that I would explode soon as I had to do three things at the same time to satisfy my ego. No pain, no gain; the struggle will worth only if you are dedicated and commit yourself into it. Or give up early and take only one of the three to yourself from constant dissatisfactions.

Computer animations are getting attentions and popularities. Seeing other's works, I can figure out easily how they might have done it. The thing is that they did and got recognitions both financially and by credit, and I haven't showed to other's yet.

Freehand sketching and illustration have been my favorite hobby until then, and are still the one although I spend less and less time drawing with graphites and charcoals. (Mar-15-98)